December 22, 2010 By Anne Pryor
Earlier this year, I took a class called The Quest for the Healing Jesus from Pastor Ron Moore. I learned that there were 41 healing miracles by Jesus in the Bible. I’ve always been impressed with the healing miracles of Jesus (who hasn’t) and wanted to gain greater insight into how He did that; could I learn to do healings; and what’s the secret sauce? After analyzing the healing miracles I saw two common threads 1) Jesus never judged those He healed and 2) He showed unconditional compassion. I realized that Jesus must have had self-compassion first. At least I never read where He said, “I’m fat, I’m not smart enough, I can’t heal, or no one likes me”, but, in full disclosure, I haven’t yet read the good book from cover to cover.
I was recently gifted the book “Buddha’s Brain” from Corporate Psychologist and Outlier Catalyst, Dr. Peter Marston, yes, he’s the master at finding and developing outlier talent. In the book, a quote by Pema Chodron hit me “The root of compassion is self-compassion”. After much reflection, I realized that this is the root of the suffering that I’ve seen in myself and from many of my clients, some who have been terminated from jobs, recently divorced or are going through other life changes.
According to Dr. Leary, 2007, self-compassion is actually more powerful for reducing the impact of difficult conditions, preserving self-worth, and building resilience. It also opens your heart to be open to the suffering of others.
Do you recall a feeling of compassion from a partner, spouse, coach, doctor, baby sitter, teacher, daycare provider, boss, or other? I’ll never forget two instances of complete and overwhelming compassion that I felt. The first recollection was from Patricia Berg, CEO of Career Partners Twin Cities, where I am an adjunct Career Coach and Online Brand Strategist. My initial meeting with her was just after my job was eliminated. I knew that this was a very special woman. Compassion oozed from her. Pat was instrumental in opening me to career possibilities, changing my paradigm, helping me to hold and understand paradox and giving me the permission I needed to find and activate my passions for my Freedom Plan Portfolio Career Life. I am forever grateful to her.
The second recollection was from one of my clients. At the end of our last session together, Barb, warmly touched my cheek and thanked me for my wisdom and guidance. I can feel the heat of her hand and her compassion and healing touch to this day.
Who has given you unconditional compassion? Perhaps you want to thank them by working on your self-compassion.
MY GOAL: 2011 – to increase my self-compassion; to open my heart to others and to show unconditional compassion.
MY INTENTION: I start by setting my intention, writing it down, and saying it each day: “I am filled with self-compassion. This is a quote from Soul Healing, by Dr. Sha, “I love my heart and soul, I love all humanity, all hearts and souls together in love, peace and harmony, love, peace and harmony”. My heart is open and I’m easily and effortlessly sharing compassion with others.”
TIPS: (from Buddha’s Brain)
1) Recall being with someone who really loves you – the feeling of receiving caring activates the deep attachment system circuitry in your brain, priming it to give compassion.
2) Recall someone you naturally feel compassion for. This arouses its neural underpinnings which warm you up for self-compassion.
3) Extend this same compassion to yourself – be aware of your own suffering and extend concern and good wishes toward yourself; sense compassion sifting down raw places inside you, like gently falling rain.
4) Say phrases in your mind such as “May I be happy again. May the pain of this moment pass”.
5) Open to the sense that you are receiving compassion – deep down in your brain. Let your sense of being soothed and cared for sink in.
Learning Strategies Corp has some amazing personal development CDs and programs that I’ve experienced. I had the pleasure of working with Pete Bissonette and Paul Scheele and these programs activated my conscious awareness and propelled my personal development. I started with Natural Brilliance and then moved to Jeddah Mali’s CD programs.
Perhaps Jesus had the secret sauce all along. I’m coming to believe that self-compassion is the foundation of activating our full potential to heal ourselves and the world. Why not give it a try in 2011?
With loving compassion,